A Found To Do List...

Leaving work one afternoon I saw a slip of paper twirling around the parking lot on a breeze. It Landed a few steps away from me, and I couldn't help but notice what it said. To Do: 1. Amy... I did not really think about it at the time but my iphone was in my hand and I casually took a snap-shot and went on my way. It was not until this weekend, sitting at the bar that some friends and I looked at the image and tried to decipher the meaning of the "list".

OK, so lets walk through this: 

1. Amy: I imagine that this could only have the one, obvious meaning, perhaps that is why it is not crossed off the list yet. Clearly though Amy is a high priority, she probably has no idea she is #1 on someone's list.

2. Stonered: This is where it gets confusing. What is stonered? I like  to believe it is clever code for "remember to get stoned! But write it in a way that if you lose this list because you got stoned no one will be quite sure what that means!"

3. Laundry: Still needs to be accomplished and after getting stoned it becomes the second highest priority. 

4. Poop: I honestly did not notice this until a waitress at the bar pointed it out. She said, "Wow, why would someone put poop on a list? Is it that hard to remember?" Obviously, out author wrote poop so that in the course of the day if all else failed at least he or she would accomplish that one thing, thereby validating the need for a list in the first place. I would say mission accomplished. Well Done!

5. Couch: Move couch? Sleep on couch? Get stoned on couch? Do Amy on couch? Your guess is as good as mine.

Finally, we have stonered again with an asterisk, I think this denotes that fact that getting stoned would need to happen a second time that day. Note that as things are crossed off the list the other items are renumbered as there priority increases. 

Now I have to say that in practice writing to do lists are good things, and I commend our author for having started a good habit. But, this has to be the weirdest damn list I have ever seen! Not to mention the fact that it was just floating around on the breeze waiting to be found. Do you think the author knows the list is gone? Will he ever "to do" Amy? Will he ever "to do: his laundry? We may never know...